‘I’m having the sofa, the TV and the lamp!’
‘No, you’re not. I’m having them!’
‘No, they are mine!’
‘No, they’re not, I paid for them!’
‘Ok, we’ll go to court, or, I’ll cut them all in half then!’
Does this sound vaguely familiar to you?
Well, perhaps if you have been through, or are going through, the trauma of a divorce, it may be closer to the truth than you would care to admit. Emotions may be running high, there may be a lot of frustration, and then you need to resolve the issues of, ‘who gets what?’
So, if you are going through the difficult and testing times of a divorce, and if you take only one piece of useful advice from this article, please let it be this...
Do yourself a big favour, and do not waste your money, your energy, or the courts time in pursuing ‘who gets what’.
Is that really good advice? I can almost hear the gasps of astonishment now. Yes, it really is not worth it. And, the courts do not like it. In fact, you may even irritate the Judge by bickering over the contents of the house, where in fact, your emotional energy and time could be better spent in resolving the important issues, along with arrangements for any children that you have. Of course, if called upon, and as a last resort, the courts will get involved. But, it is much more sensible to resolve these issues outside of the court. You may even spare yourself a wrap across the knuckles from the judge at the same time.
If you are unable to resolve the issues surrounding the contents of the house, then how can either of you be expected to resolve the arrangements for the children? And, this is how the court may view it.
Time and time again, the court is asked to sort out the question of ‘who gets what?’ And, in a year or two’s time, you’ll be hard pressed to even remember why you fought so hard for an old sofa anyway. So, please try not to get involved in the petty quarrelling.
But, if you don’t take it to court, how do you resolve the issues?
Well, it is always best to try to resolve these issues between the two of you, if at all possible, and tell the court what you have agreed (if necessary). You may not even need to get your solicitors involved, which of course, will save your legal fees too. And, before you say, ‘well, I’m on legal aid, it isn’t my money’, you may need to think again. Firstly, there are plans to restrict the availability of legal aid in many family law areas, which means that it may become a lot more difficult in future for you to obtain legal aid. So, it makes sense to try to save money (potentially your money). And, secondly, in family law cases, you are usually responsible for paying your own legal costs regardless of the outcome. That is, unless the Judge feels that you have conducted your case unreasonably. The bickering over who gets what, and the numerous letters between your solicitors to try to resolve the issues could, in some exceptional circumstances, be viewed as wasting legal costs, and deemed unreasonable conduct. You may then find yourself being ordered to pay for some, or all, of your ex partners legal fees as well as your own.
Of course, we don’t pretend that every case can be resolved amicably, and the courts understand this as well. But, if you can resolve issues between the two of you, without building up unnecessary legal costs, wasting your emotional energy, and everybody’s time, the whole divorce process, which is a difficult enough experience at the best of times, can be made a whole lot smoother for both of you.
Help for Litigants in Person at Court, and Saving You Money on Legal Fees...
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