I have frequently been asked the question, 'how should I prepare myself for court?'
I prefer to see it as, 'how to survive court', rather than ‘prepare’. But, that is firstly to add a little unnecessary drama to what otherwise may appear a rather dull and boring article, but secondly, and most importantly, it is because unless you have some idea of what the 'whole experience' is like, then you can come out of the courtroom feeling as if you have been flattened by a steamroller, been in a boxing ring with Muhammad Ali at his best, and completely and utterly drained of all energy.
It really depends on how you approach your court hearing. If you treat it with the respect that the situation deserves then you should be fine. If you treat it with contempt and attend with an attitude that you know best, then you are likely to get a very sharp reminder that you are not in charge and that you certainly do not know best.
So, what would be my tips for attending court? Well, firstly, try to avoid it at all costs. Can the matter be resolved outside of court? Are your solicitors provoking more distrust, difficulties and discord between you than is needed? Could you resolve things by just communicating with each other a little better?
If you cannot resolve the matters between you and you do find yourself facing court, the following may be a useful guide:
1) Know what you want to achieve
2) Be realistic
In family law cases there are often no clear winners. If you have children, you need to consider what is in their best interests, not what is in your best interests.
Many people go to court feeling that they are right. That feeling may have been reinforced by family and friends who have also told them that they are right. So, you can imagine their disappointment when the judge does not quite see it the same way as they do. Do not lose track of the fact that there are two sides to a story and that your opponent may also think that he or she is right. Unfortunately, in a court, you cannot both be completely right. Frequently, you may both come out of court feeling a little disappointed with the outcome.
Have an idea of what you want, but also have a back-up plan for what you are willing to accept.
3) Prepare a Statement (or Position Statement)
Even if you are not requested to do so by the court, it may help to have a statement in front of you at the hearing. It really can act like a check sheet so that you may refer to it in the court hearing and ensure that your most important points are covered and not missed.
Court hearings can sometimes be only 30 minutes long. You need to make your points clearly, concisely, and without undue delay.
4) Do not expect things to be rushed
Courts should deal with legal matters involving children expeditiously, ‘without delay’. Unfortunately, your idea of ‘without delay’ and the courts idea could be very different.
In legal matters, the courts treat children as their ‘paramount consideration’. But, they do want to get things right. So, they will not rush things unless there is an urgent issue. This can be at best frustrating, and often extremely annoying. But, courts will not rush matters, and it serves no purpose at all to show your frustration, irritability and annoyance with the legal system.
5) Aim for progress at each court hearing
I know what you are thinking, ‘I want things to happen now’. Unfortunately, it does not always work out like that. It is not unusual for cases to run for weeks, months or even a year or more. It can be a slow process. You just need to feel like that you are achieving something at every court appearance.
So, there you have it. My brief guide to surviving court.
Steve Young works as a McKenzie Friend, assisting people in family law cases. He is an affiliate member of the Institute of Legal Executives (Ilex) and is training to become a lawyer.
